1. To slow everyone down
   To ensure that traffic can move in an orderly fashion
2. To create an illusion of safety
   To add color to the scenery

The sense of safety brought on by traffic lights may indeed be an illusion. The purpose of these colorful beacons, though, is to bring order to the chaos of desire with an engine. Traffic lights have been around since 1868.

1. Speed up and take the next turn to get away
   Pull over to the right
2. Pull over to the left
   Stop where you are

If traffic allows, the sensible thing to do is to pull over to the right to allow the emergency vehicle to pass. Beyond this basic rule, it’s best to follow common sense when deciding how to respond to an emergency vehicle. If pulling to the right is likely to clog traffic even more, maybe don’t do it.

1. That all tracks are clear
   For a smashed penny on the rails
2. Your phone for any new messages
   How long you have been waiting

Check that all the tracks are clear. It may seem that the track you were focusing on is clear, but there may be another train approaching on a second track, which could smash you like the penny you’re looking for.

1. As soon as no one is coming on the left
   As soon as you’ve checked for children on the left
2. As soon as the school bus is in motion
   As soon as you feel aggravated by how slow it is

When a school bus is in motion again, it’s a good indicator that there are no longer children exiting the bus to pop out in front of you. While state laws vary on the specifics, it’s generally against the law to go around a stopped school bus.

1. Shake your fist at them
   Speed up and pull in front of them
2. Yield them the right-of-way
   Close your eyes and hope for the best

While any of these options seem perfectly reasonable, drivers entering a lane from the left technically have the right-of-way over drivers entering from the right. However, it’s probably not a safe bet that anyone knows this rule.

1. Stop completely at the intersection and go when it’s safe.
   Stop briefly, then go.
2. Tap the breaks.
   Stop until the light turns green.

Flashing red lights essentially function as stop signs. Stop completely and make sure the coast is clear! Of course, at a four-way stop sign, whoever arrived first has the right-of-way.

1. The painters were confused.
   Pass if you really need to, but otherwise just sit tight.
2. You may pass if you’re on the broken yellow side, but not on the solid side.
   You may pass if on the solid side, but not on the broken side.

The broken yellow indicates that you are on the passing side, so if you have this on your side, you can pass, even if the line on the other side is solid. If you’re on the solid side, you can’t pass, even if you’re following a very old truck full of goats.

1. That the universe has gone haywire, and it’s time for a nap
   Stop or go, whichever you feel
2. The driver can turn in the direction of the arrow, but traffic going straight must stop.
   All traffic should turn in the direction of the arrow, rather than going straight.

These conflicting signals are not necessarily a sign that doomsday is upon us. Rather, they just show that it’s safe to turn even if it’s not safe to go straight.

1. A spot behind you on either side where your mirrors may not show a car lurking
   Parts of yourself that you’re not aware of
2. A time when you fall asleep momentarily while driving
   That split second when you sneeze and blink

In car lingo, the blind spot is a hidden spot that doesn’t show up in the mirror. Careful drivers check over their shoulder to make sure there’s not a car hanging out in the blind spot before changing lanes. In life, it’s not a bad idea to check for blind spots either.

1. Get all worked up when someone criticizes them
   Try to anticipate what may go wrong and plan ahead to prevent an accident
2. Drive slowly at all times
   Always look in the rear-view mirror

They say defense is the best offense. If staying out of an accident is the prize, then that saying is true of defensive driving. Taking a defensive driving class may help you get out of a ticket, or, in some states, lower your car insurance costs.

1. They should be punished.
   They should run.
2. They still have the right-of-way.
   Drivers are free to go regardless.

Even if it grates against your engine-rumbling sensibilities, pedestrians should still be given the right-of-way, even if they have overstayed their welcome in the street. Pedestrians have responsibilities too, of course. But all you can do as a driver is control your vehicle.

1. Okay if you’re pressed for time.
   An offense that will get you a stern warning.
2. A punishable violation.
   Always good for a laugh.

You may very well get a stern talking-to for driving around a barricade. But that talking-to may also include a fine or even a trip to jail. In Texas, for instance, if you drive around a barricade on a flooded road, you could be fined $2,000. Yikes. Also, there’s the flood to worry about.

1. The approaching car hits you.
   The approaching car is 200 ft away from you.
2. Your passengers notice that you are taking their lives into your hands.
   You take another breath.

Getting over before getting hit is always a good idea. Just for good measure though, it’s wise to get over a good distance before that’s a real possibility.

1. At the last minute so you won’t get a ticket
   To give advance warning that you are going to turn or change lanes
2. Only for making turns
   Only by people who are comfortable communicating their feelings

Contrary to common practice, turn signals are best used in advance of a turn or lane change. It helps to let others know of your plans before they come crashing into you.

1. Push it halfway in and give a little gas while you shift gears
   Push it all the way in, shift gears, and let it all the way out while you give a little gas
2. Rest your foot gently on top of it while driving, just in case.
   Push it in and out, then shift gears

Pushing the clutch all the way in puts the car in neutral, which allows you to shift to another gear. In order to keep up your speed, accelerate while you release the clutch. Don’t ever let a gearhead see you resting your foot on the clutch! You’re just wearing it down.

1. Make hand signals to communicate your feelings
   Wave a flag in return
2. Obey the instructions
   Consider the instructions in your next move

Yup, as much as you may feel like gesturing or waving a flag to communicate with a flag person, the expectation is that you obey. After all, they’ve gone to great lengths to tell you what to do.

1. The car dies.
   The engine floods.
2. The car rolls back when the clutch is engaged, unless you’re a really smooth driver.
   The brakes go out, unless you keep the clutch in.

Since the clutch puts the car in neutral, there’s nothing to keep the car from rolling downhill except the brakes. When you shift the car in gear and move your foot from the brake to the accelerator, the car is prone to roll.

1. Check your phone quickly to avoid an accident
   Talk or text later
2. Eat only burgers without mayo
   Play music that doesn’t bring up too much emotional response

Distracted driving is a leading cause of car accidents. Letting the messages or phone calls wait is the best way to ensure your safety and that of those around you. Research is uncertain about the connection between emotional responses to songs and car accidents.

1. It’s safe to pass if the coast is clear.
   It is not safe to pass.
2. This is a one-way road.
   There is oncoming traffic.

If driving beside a double yellow line, it is not safe to pass. It’s still not safe even if the car in front of you just did it and survived. You may, however, turn left when it is safe to do so.

1. Warn drivers of possible dangers
   Guide drivers to reach their destination
2. Guide drivers in their life decisions
   Inform drivers of local rules

Even if you’re the type to look out for “signs” to help guide your next steps, traffic signs are not designed to help you decide whether to break up with him or her. Though, if you’re that unsure about the relationship, you probably should.

1. Exclusively for caution signs
   Exclusively for yield signs
2. To show that cars and bikes have equal access to roads
   To notify drivers of an approaching triangle in the roadway

Equilateral triangles always house a yield sign. They have nothing to do with equality or the dangers of triangles entering the roadway. While yielding may seem to slow you down, if everyone followed these rules, traffic would move more quickly!

1. That you’re coming closer to your high school
   That you’re free to pass
2. A two-lane highway
   A no-passing zone is approaching.

The pennant is the classic shape that gives warning that you are nearing a no-passing zone. It’s the shape that means, “Don’t pass here, or you might kill us all.”

1. Drivers should speed up because the light is about to turn green.
   Drivers should use caution because the light is about to turn red.
2. Drivers should slow down because anything could happen.
   Drivers should use caution in this area.

Unlike the steady yellow light at a traffic signal, a flashing yellow light is a general sign of caution. This does not equate to speeding up.

1. On your right.
   Most quickly.
2. On your left.
   Most slowly.

The rule of thumb for right-of-way is to yield to cars on the right. Though, it’s not a bad idea to wait for cars traveling too quickly. Yielding to cars on the right is supposed to get traffic through the intersection most quickly.

1. A railroad crossing is ahead.
   An intersection is ahead.
2. A school zone is ahead.
   A roundabout is ahead.

A circular sign shows that you’re approaching a railroad, and it would be wise to watch for trains. Do people need to be nudged to look out for a fast-moving mass of steel? It seems like the consequences speak for themselves.

1. Floor it and see if you can make it under, James Bond style.
   Pull over to the right.
2. Stop between 15-50 feet from the nearest railroad.
   Stop between 5-15 feet from the nearest railroad.

It may seem like you can make it under those railroad signal arms, but is it worth it? While it seems like overkill, 15-50 feet is the recommended safe distance to watch a train pass.

1. The suggested speed that cars should travel on a given road
   The maximum speed a car may travel without being subject to a ticket
2. The maximum speed a car may travel without losing control on a given roadway
   10 mph under the speed you should actually drive

While most drivers often go about 10 mph over the speed limit, it’s actually supposed to designate the top speed. Texas has the highest speed limit on a rural highway, at 85 mph, and Hawaii clocks in at the lowest—60 mph for rural highways.

1. Pass anytime.
   Do not pass.
2. Weave back and forth if you feel like it.
   Pass if the coast is clear.

The broken yellow line indicates that it’s a safe viewing instance to pass the slow-moving RV in front of you. It’s also a good opportunity to look over to see who could possibly drive so slowly. You still need to check to make sure it’s safe though.

1. Either pass the car on your right or pull over to the right
   Remain in the left lane if you feel you are going fast enough
2. Pass the car on your left so slowly that you are the only car able to pass before the lane fizzles out
   Pull over to the right

Sometimes it seems that these signs are only visible to certain cars and never to the slowest, fast-lane drivers. Nevertheless, the rule applies to all drivers—use passing lanes to pass, then get over.

1. A single solid white line means you should try not to cross it, and a double solid means crossing is prohibited.
   A double solid means it’s a no-passing lane, and a single means passing is permitted.
2. Meh, same thing.
   A double solid means try not to cross it, and a single means crossing is prohibited.

Single solid indicates that crossing should be avoided, but only the double means it’s prohibited. Since when are rules just encouraged? Perhaps it helps to remember these rules are made to keep people from crashing into each other.

1. Exclusively for stop signs
   For stop signs and caution signs
2. For “workers present” signs
   To indicate an eight-sided intersection

The octagon shape is only used for stop signs. If you see the shape in the distance, you can know what’s expected of you before you fly through the intersection.

1. Either clowns or monkeys
   Probably means you’re on a race course and should drive like it
2. To block obstacles that are likely to be hit and reduce the damage
   To draw drivers’ attention to a dangerous spot

You can never be sure that a barrel does not contain monkeys or clowns lying in wait. The intended purpose of orange barrels, though, is to reduce the severity of a collision.

1. The entire side of your car
   A small portion of the side of your car
2. A clear view of what is behind you, without seeing any of your own car
   A clear view of whether the person behind you is attractive

Certainly, the side mirror can be effectively used to check out fellow drivers. Its ideal position for safety, though, should show a small portion of your car to ensure that your blind spot is covered. The blind spot is typically located at the rear quarter of the car, keeping you from seeing someone who may have crept up next to you.

1. Any vehicle moving more slowly in front of you
   Anyone in front of you in the fast lane
2. A vehicle with a maximum speed of 25 mph or less
   A vehicle with a maximum speed of 30 mph or less.

Vehicles which have a maximum speed of 25 mph or less are designated “slow-moving.” These are required to bear an orange triangle to warn of their tortoise-like progression.

1. At 9 o’clock and 3 o’clock
   At 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock
2. It doesn’t matter as long as both hands are on the wheel.
   It doesn’t matter as long as one hand is on the wheel.

9 and 3 o’clock is the current Safety Sam position. Yeah, it takes away the cool factor of having one arm out the window. According to the National Highway Safety Administration, this position will best keep your arms out of the way if an airbag deploys.