How Good Are You at Bargaining With Car Salesmen?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Image: SHutterstock

About This Quiz

Do you think you have what it takes to negotiate with the master negotiators of the automotive industry? Car salesmen are beings sought after throughout the universe for their ability to bend the truth, obfuscate the fine print, and just generally rip people off. Seldom are humans capable of standing in their way.

Few things are as dreaded by intelligent life forms as bargaining with a car salesman. Wading through hydrochloric acid swamps filled with armored piranhas, climbing the electrified razor blade peaks of mountains made of ennui, and even drinking a pint one thousand proof vodka pale in comparison to the challenge of going toe to toe with the most duplicitous lizard men in the universe.

Car salesmen come out of their clone tube equipped with just enough gray matter to understand the minutiae of contracts, how to tempt buyers by putting an unattainable vehicle on a plinth outside the dealership, and how to tell exquisite half-truths that pass through the cerebral cortexes of higher life forms without scrutiny. These beings weren't bred for a normal life, but rather one entirely devoted to extracting more money than is reasonable for transport mechanisms that last 10 to 15 years.

Do you think you could outwit, out-bargain, and outmaneuver a car salesman? 

How much of your day job is about dealing with people?

How manipulative are you?

How much of your day job requires intimate, detail oriented knowledge?

How much do you really need a car?

Would you characterize any of your relationships as co-dependent?

How hard do you find it to establish boundaries?

How argumentative are you?

How do you dress?

Have you ever purchased a car before?

How needy are you?

Have you ever negotiated with a real estate agent?

Have you ever dealt with a problem with an airline?

Do you bargain hunt for groceries?

Have you ever been in a physical fight?

How much does your appearance reflect traditional signs of power?

Do people ever turn to you for advice?

Are you willing to walk away if you don't get the deal you want?

How fixated are you on one particular car?

Would you be willing to go with a less respected brand for a better deal?

What famous deal-maker do you respect the most?

How much of an act do you plan to put on when negotiating for your new car?

How aware are you of traditional hard-sell techniques?

Have you ever worked in retail?

Do you know the incentive structure of a car dealership?

Are you willing to buy a used car, if you don't get the deal you want on a new one?

How much are you willing to stand up for yourself, even if it's awkward?

Do you know all of the "cons" of the car you really want?

Do you know how to pull a bait and switch on a salesman?

Do you have good credit?

How diligent are you at reading fine print?

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