Place These Cars in Heaven or Hell and We'll Guess Your Age

Zoe Samuel

Image: Peathegee Inc/Blend Images/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Some cars are immortal. The SL Black AMG is one of those cars. It looks like an angel brought it from Heaven, but spend five minutes in the seats, and you realize it was designed by Lucifer's tuning company. Cars are deeply personal objects not just for the owners, but for the people who designed them in the first place. Still, being personal, they are matters of taste. 

Saying which cars you love or hate puts you in a camp, and a lot can be inferred from that. These inferences range from your profession to your political party to your hometown. In the early 2000s, the RNC obtained lists of buyers from Mercury dealers because apparently 90% of Mercury buyers voted Republican, and that was a reliable mailing list.

What we plan to do with your automotive decisions is much more benign. We will pose a series of cars to you. Even if you aren't familiar with them, you will have an impression of them. We want you to give us your knee-jerk reaction to this question: does this car belong in Heaven or Hell? Your answers will provide us with the insights we need to guess your age accurately.

Will you throw the Dodge Dart, AKA the Alfa Romeo Giulietta made to look less pretty, into the pit?

Would you put the mighty Dodge Charger in Heaven or Hell?

Does the strangely designed Lexus LFA, with its hood that looks like someone forgot to close it, belong by the right-hand drive of God, or parked next to the seventh pit?

Does the efficient and uninspiring Toyota Camry belong to Old Nick, or Saint Nick?

Will the GMC Sierra conquer the terrain of the clouds?

Would you send the Chrysler Pacifica, the world's greatest family minivan, to crash the gates of Heaven?

Is the economy Fiat 500 as heavenly as an aria, or as hellish as Roman traffic?

Does the Brabus Rocket launch into the sky, or plummet into Hell?

Is the Smart ForTwo for the angels or for the demons?

Does the Audi A6 Avant, AKA Audi's way of trying to make station wagons sound exciting, belong on the end of a pitchfork?

Does the VW Passat deserve to be tortured for all eternity?

Is the Tesla Model X "SUV" (minivan actually) The Devil's ride?

Would you put the comfortable, practical street-sleeper VW GTI in Heaven or Hell?

Would you put the Jaguar F-Pace, AKA the betrayal of everything the Jaguar brand used to stand for, in Heaven or Hell?

Does the plug-in Chevy Bolt earn a parking spot with the Archangels?

Do all Ford Mustang GTs go to Heaven (after they inevitably crash after a cars and coffee)?

Would you drop the practical but uncomfortable budget hatchback Ford Fiesta into Hades or have it airlifted to God?

Would you place the humdrum, front wheel drive, but totally practical Chevy Impala with the angels or with Satan?

Will the Volvo S60 see the face of God?

Would you send the hopped up hatchback Mercedes GLA to Heaven or consign it to The Abyss?

Would you put the rally-worthy but spartan Mitsubishi Evo X in Heaven or Hell?

Would you send the powerful, practical, but somehow uncomfortable VW Golf-R to the angels or the devils?

Would you put the historic 1984 Pontiac Trans Am in Heaven or Hell? What would KITT have to say?

Does the BMW 7 Series cart the saints around, or is it literally The Devil?

Would you put the mid-sized Mercedes C-Class in Heaven or Hell?

Would you send the painfully sporty Mercedes SLR to Heaven or Hell?

Will The Devil dent the fender of an XC90?

Would you send the Porsche 911 Turbo to its natural environment of a garage from which it will never leave, in Heaven, or to someone who will have to daily-drive it forever in Hell?

Would you put the relatively dull teenage tuning favorite Honda Civic in Heaven or Hell?

Would you elevate the poorly received, plug-in hybrid Cadillac ELR to Heaven or send it tumbling into Hell?

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